Expectations, Disappointments, Surrender & Change. 

There are those that have heard something about "life-changing psychedelics," and so they come with expectations instead of intentions, and they walk away disappointed because the exorcist didn't arrive.

Yes, there are those that look back on their retreat and think they did not have "the experience" and that there "must be something wrong with [fill in the blank] ”Unfortunately, that generally represents those stuck in some form of resistance (and control).

It's very revealing to look at the word resist. Resist commonly means to oppose… from re- "against" + sistere "take a stand, stand firm”. So there they are, standing against something. How can they possibly move forward when they are actually holding themselves down by resisting? Can we all agree that forward motion is what we would like to be experiencing?

The Power of Forward Motion and Self-Exploration

It's only when we are free to move forward, that we can ask ourselves, "OK, now what would I like?"

As a counselor and seasoned guide, I often find myself reflecting on these fascinating insights from neuroscience about the reality being construed by our brains. I can't help but think of the parallels between our everyday perception of reality and the experiences one might have during a psychedelic therapy session. 

The Role of Desires, Expectations, and Fears in Perception Shaping

You see, in both cases, we're not just passive observers of an objective reality. We're also have the opportunity to be active participants, constantly constructing and reconstructing our own narratives of what's happening around us. And just like in our day-to-day lives, during a psychedelic session, our brains can also bend our perceptions to meet our desires, expectations, or fears.

Control vs Surrender: Lessons from Dream States

Now, here's where it gets interesting. Have you ever tried to control a dream? It's a bit like trying to hold water in your hands, right? The more you try to control it, the more it slips away. The same principle applies to a psychedelic journey. The more rigidly you try to control the experience, the more likely you are to encounter resistance, fear, or even distress.

And then there's the golden rule: without expectations, there will not be any disappointments.

The Surrender Paradigm: A Gateway to New Perspectives

But what if, instead of trying to control the narrative, we allowed ourselves to surrender to it? What if we let go of our need for control and simply observed the story unfolding before us? This, my friend, is where the magic happens. In our letting go. Whatever it is that you feel like you must "hold onto", consider simply letting it go. For some of us, this will be a lifelong endeavor. For others, when embraced and consented to, it is the path to freedom.

In the context of a psychedelic session, surrendering doesn't mean giving up… or losing control. It means opening ourselves up to new perspectives, insights, and ways of being. It means allowing the medicine to guide us, rather than trying to steer the ship ourselves.

The Beauty of Surrender: Embracing the Flow of Life

And isn't this a beautiful metaphor for life itself? How often do we hold ourselves back by clinging to our rigid beliefs, our need for control, and our fear of the unknown? What if we could learn to surrender to the flow of life, to trust in the process, to embrace the uncertainty? Would that not be the utmost testament to strength

Surrender as a Catalyst for Growth and Evolution

Just as in a psychedelic journey, surrendering in life doesn't mean giving up. It means moving forward. It means growing, expanding (as opposed to contracting), evolving, and becoming more fully ourselves. It means stepping out of our comfort zones and into the realm of infinite possibilities. Let's remember, in the realm of quantum physics, everything is possible!

The Surrender Principle in Everyday Life and Psychedelic Journeys

So, whether you're embarking on a psychedelic journey or simply navigating the twists and turns of everyday life, remember this: surrender is not a sign of weakness, but a testament to your strength. It's not about losing control, but about gaining a deeper understanding of yourself and the world around you. And ultimately, it's about embracing the beautiful, ever-changing story that your brain is so masterfully weaving.

The Human Mind: The Diligent Architect of Control

Granted, the human mind is a control freak, a diligent architect of countless strategies aimed at orchestrating a life filled with “wanted” experiences, and devoid (or avoidant) of “unwanted” ones.

However, at some point, the tapestry of plans collapses. That's when surrender steps in.

Surrender isn't a “new” scheme; in fact, it's quite the opposite… it's the absolute void of all tactics. It surfaces when our minds admit that they're in the dark, unable to piece together an escape route from a grueling situation. This turns out to be a rather peculiar defeat… the liberation found in surrender

Detaching from Outcomes: Embracing the Now

When we surrender, we detach ourselves from the outcomes of our actions. We accept that even the best efforts might not lead us to the goal. And this is when the present moment unfurls before us, devoid of future-oriented motives. It allows us to savor life as it is, in its raw, undiluted form. Suddenly, life pulses with surprise and mystery, and the now becomes paramount.

Surrender is a blessing in disguise. It's only when we admit our powerlessness that we find ourselves cradled by the river of life.

Well, then if surrender is a spontaneous process we can't will into existence, why bother discussing it? I believe that we can 'practice' surrender in moments of calm before the storm,  before life knocks us to our knees. This practice would be about immersing ourselves in the present, experiencing life without mental interference. Through this, we prepare ourselves for the moments when surrender becomes our only option.

Psychedelic Therapy: Control vs Experience

If you are lost in the forest of conditioning, desperately trying to fight your way out, the more resistance you create, the more entangled you become. Trapped in the forest of conditioning… The primary pitfall of resistance.

It's only when you stop fighting, when you relax your clenched fists, and surrender to the experience, that you allow yourself to be guided. This is when the psychedelic medicine can truly work its magic and help you navigate the complexities of your mind. 

Walking Away from the Battlefield: The Liberation of Surrender

Acceptance and surrender go hand in hand. Acceptance of what is happening, of what you are experiencing. Surrender to the flow of life, to the journey ahead. When we resist, we remain stuck in the battlefield of our own making.

However, when we surrender, we walk away from the battlefield and allow ourselves to see the larger picture, to gain a deeper understanding of our psyche. Through surrender, we invite growth, transformation, and healing.

Control vs Surrender: The Psychedelic Perspective

From my years of guiding psychedelic voyages, I've seen the struggle between control and surrender time and time again. Those who resist, who seek to control their experiences, often find themselves facing more challenges.

However, those who surrender, who allow themselves to trust in the medicine, to trust in the process, often find their experiences to be liberating and transformative. It might seem like the utmost act of trust: embracing the unfamiliar.

In Conclusion: The Surrender Principle in Psychedelic Therapy and Life

Learning from the Psychedelic Experience: Surrender as a Lifelong Tool

The principles we learn from psychedelic therapy can be applied to all areas of life. Control and resistance only hold us back from growth and transformation. It's only through surrender that we can truly experience and embrace life in all its beauty and complexity.

So, whether you're stepping into a psychedelic journey or navigating the turbulent waters of everyday life, consider embracing surrender. Surrender to the present moment, surrender to the journey, surrender to life. Trust me, it will change everything.

"You are a sacred, worthy, luminous being. You are love and your love is for giving and receiving."

– Dr. Tom Pinkson

Written by Sergio Nikita Lialin

Sergio is a psychedelic preparation, guidance and integration coach with over 30 years of experience. His highly-unique approach combines the ancient wisdom of indigenous cultures of Latin America, where he studied extensively, with his Western training in integrative medicine and psychology. Sergio seamlessly bridges traditional guidance with his knowledge of human behavior and neuro-linguistic programming, resulting in a proprietary and transformative guiding style. As a lifelong healer, artist and spiritual counselor, he has compassionately guided individuals and couples towards healing and a more fulfilling existence, drawing inspiration from his mentorships in Mexico, Peru, Brazil, and Colombia. He is currently mentoring mental health professionals in their continued education of psychedelic-assisted therapy.

He can be reached at PsychedelicTherapyMentor@Proton.me