What does it mean to be in "right relationship"? Have you heard this phrase before? Before my own spiritual journey began, I hadn't. But in time, I came to see—it’s all about relationship, isn't it? The relationship we have with ourselves, with our bodies, with all the parts of us (even those we’d rather not see). The relationship we have with those around us. The relationship we have with the world itself.But this isn’t just any relationship. It’s right relationship. And there’s something about that word—right—that changes everything. When we find ourselves in right relationship, right action follows. The two feed one another, a spiral drawing us deeper into balance, presence, and connection.
The Influence of Tomas
More than 30 years ago, I was introduced to the concept of "living in right relationship" by Dr. Tom "Tomas" Pinkson, who would become a dear teacher and friend.As his homepage reads:
"You are here for a reason, called in your own unique way to help shape-shift humanity's evolution toward a path of Balance, Health, and Sacred Reciprocity, recognizing your interconnection with all that has been, all that is, and all that will be." — Dr. Tom “Tomas” Pinkson
This reminds me—each of us has a reason for being here. We all carry a unique way of weaving meaning into the world, finding that delicate harmony of balance, health, and reciprocity. And right relationship is at the core of it... seeing how we are connected to everything that was, everything that is, and everything yet to come.
Ayni: Sacred Reciprocity in Action
Right relationship resurfaced in my awareness years later in Peru, where I spent time studying ethnobotanicals and entheogens of the rainforest. There, I encountered Ayni—a Quechua word often translated as "sacred reciprocity," a fundamental principle of balance in all relationships.Ayni is an understanding, a way of being, a deep knowing that life moves in cycles of giving and receiving. Imagine a world where every act—every word, every gesture, every offering—moves in harmony, where nothing is taken without something being given in return. This is Ayni. It is not transaction; it is a dance. A mutual exchange woven into the fabric of existence itself.I was taught that practicing Ayni is like dropping a pebble into a still pond, watching the ripples expand outward. Generosity begets gratitude, gratitude begets connection, and connection brings us back to right relationship. It is an invitation—to offer with an open hand, to receive with an open heart, and to remember that nothing truly belongs to us alone. (Claudia Cuentas speaks beautifully about this in her interview with Laura Dawn on The Psychedelic Leadership Podcast, episode 60.)
Cultivating Harmonious Connections
For me, right relationship is rooted in integrity—the kind of integrity that asks us to be honest with ourselves, to be true in our interactions, to walk with care and attention. It is a commitment to tending the spaces between us, whether that be with others, with nature, or within our own internal landscapes.Being in right relationship with ourselves means embracing all parts of who we are—our thoughts, our emotions, our patterns. It means acknowledging the aspects we have cast aside and welcoming them back into wholeness. It means recognizing that even our wounds are part of the larger unfolding, and treating them with the same reverence we would offer a sacred text.
The Eternal Rapport with Ourselves
If we look far enough into the future—10,000 years, perhaps—we see that everything will have shifted, changed, disappeared. And yet, one thing will remain: the relationship we have with ourselves. That eternal rapport. That unbroken thread. If we can cultivate a deep and abiding right relationship with ourselves, if we can learn to move through the world with integrity, that is what we carry forward. That is what we take with us beyond this life.
The Power of Virtues
Right relationship is not a passive state; it is something we tend and nourish through practice. It asks us to walk with virtues—honesty, generosity, gratitude, forgiveness, humility. These aren’t just moral ideals; they are tools, doorways into a way of being that fosters connection and harmony. They remind us to be more self-aware, to hold compassion in our hands, to take responsibility for the energy we bring into the world.And, of course, language matters. How we speak—to ourselves, to others—shapes the world we live in. Conscious language is one of the quiet forces that support right relationship. But that’s another thread for another time...
Striving for Integrity and Reciprocity
- At its heart, right relationship is about striving for the highest integrity within ourselves and in our connections with others. It is a living, breathing practice. A way of stepping into life with reverence.So, my friends, may we all move with the spirit of Ayni. May reciprocity and love form the foundation of our relationships, our choices, our offerings to the world. And may we embrace the unfolding, moment by moment, as the great dance of right relationship carries us ever onward.
"You are a sacred, worthy, luminous being. You are love and your love is for giving and receiving."
– Dr. Tom Pinkson
Written by Sergio Nikita Lialin
Sergio is a psychedelic preparation, guidance, and integration coach with over 30 years of experience. His highly unique approach blends the ancient wisdom of indigenous cultures of Latin America, where he studied extensively, with Western training in integrative medicine and psychology.
Bridging traditional guidance with neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and modern psychology, he has developed a proprietary and transformative coaching style. As a lifelong healer, artist, and spiritual counselor, he has compassionately guided individuals and couples toward healing and fulfillment, drawing inspiration from his mentorships in Mexico, Peru, Brazil, and Colombia.
He is currently mentoring mental health professionals in psychedelic-assisted therapy.
He can be reached at PsychedelicTherapyMentor@Proton.me