We talk about self-worth as if it’s inherent—but is it really? Is human value something objective, or is it always a matter of perspective? I’ve often felt like my worth was tied to my accomplishments—that unless I’m impressive, I won’t be seen or valued. But what if worth isn’t something to earn? What if it’s a choice, a perspective we can adopt for ourselves?
The value of anything is always personal. If you cherish something, it’s important to you. To live with an attitude of non-negotiable human worth is a choice—one you make if you decide this belief serves you. It means seeing yourself as inherently valuable, independent of achievements or external validation.
Not everyone will agree with you. Some people will insist that worth is conditional, tied to success, status, or how well you fit their expectations. But if you’ve chosen to have your own back, to treat yourself with kindness, then their opinions won’t dictate your fundamental sense of self.
Some might ask, Does believing in my fundamental worth mean I can do no wrong? Won’t people take this as an excuse to act selfishly? But self-worth isn’t about entitlement—it’s about stability. People who are determined to act without regard for others will rationalize their behavior regardless of philosophy.
Choosing to see yourself as valuable doesn’t mean disregarding accountability. In fact, when you trust in your worth, it becomes easier to accept responsibility without being consumed by shame.
Valuing yourself doesn’t mean you don't or can’t value others. On the contrary, when you understand what it feels like to hold yourself in appreciation, you can more easily extend that same grace to others. When you stop treating yourself as flawed and undeserving, you create the foundation for healthier relationships and a more compassionate way of engaging with the world.
Choosing to see your worth as non-negotiable means letting go of the belief that your existence depends on being flawless or impressive. It means separating your fundamental value from skills you’re still learning, mistakes you’ve made, or failures you will encounter. It gives you permission to take up space, to have needs, and to meet them without shame.
This shift requires shedding old identities—stepping away from shame and low self-esteem as defining aspects of who you are. Instead, you adopt the perspective that you are fundamentally lovable and valuable. It’s a process of trusting yourself, of getting to know yourself beyond the lens of criticism. This creates a sturdy foundation for life. With this foundation, mistakes won’t shake you to your core. Failures won’t unravel your entire sense of self. You’ll still have challenges, but you won’t be consumed by fear and self-contempt when there's self-worth in your savings account.
At some point, you may ask: But what if it’s not true? What if I really am fundamentally defective? What if I really am unlovable? Well, the thing is, there is no test for this. The way you see yourself is always a subjective construction—it’s a lens you choose, not an objective truth to prove or disprove.
It’s your right and responsibility to choose how you see and value yourself. You don’t have to figure this out alone. You can take inspiration from psychology, philosophy, and those who have walked this path before you. But ultimately, the choice is yours.
For many, this choice was never modeled. If your parents didn’t affirm your worth, it might feel unnatural to do so now. Your instinct may default to self-doubt, to seeing yourself through a lens of unworthiness. But that doesn’t make it true. If you had been raised by different people, they might have made a different choice about how to see you. It was never about you—it was about their perspective. And now, you get to choose a new one.
Making this choice isn’t about convincing everyone else about it. People will always define worth in their own way. Some will only acknowledge you if you meet their conditions. But do you really want their definition of worth to dictate yours?
Stepping out of a shame-based mindset doesn’t make you arrogant or self-indulgent. In fact, self-acceptance is what allows you to be fully honest with yourself. When mistakes don’t threaten your core identity, you can face them without spiraling into fear. Growth happens through encouragement, not rejection.Believing in your worth is a perspective—one that some will disagree with. But their belief doesn’t have to shake yours. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or proof of your value. Your worth isn’t up for debate.
Choosing to see yourself as fundamentally valuable requires a willingness to withstand others’ disagreement. It means putting an end to seeking permission to exist. It means allowing yourself to live fully, to take up space, to be exactly who you are.
The kindest choice you can make for yourself is to believe in your own worth. And that choice is yours to make, starting now.
As Dr. Tom Pinkson would remind us at every meeting:
I am a sacred, worthy, luminous being. I am loved, and my love is for giving.
Sergio is a psychedelic preparation, guidance, and integration coach with over 30 years of experience. His highly unique approach blends the ancient wisdom of indigenous cultures of Latin America, where he studied extensively, with Western training in integrative medicine and psychology. Bridging traditional guidance with neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and modern psychology, he has developed a proprietary and transformative coaching style.
As a lifelong healer, artist, and spiritual counselor, he has compassionately guided individuals and couples toward healing and fulfillment, drawing inspiration from his mentorships in Mexico, Peru, Brazil, and Colombia. He is currently mentoring mental health professionals in psychedelic-assisted therapy.
He can be reached at PsychedelicTherapyMentor@Proton.me